Oops

Here's an annoying fun fact: People can't help but say "oops" when they almost bump into someone rounding a corner or coming out of a room. I don't exactly know why they say this particular word instead of, oh, anything else. They could say "sorry" or "pardon me" or even "excuse me" would suffice. No, everyone insists on saying "oops" like a fat office secratary who drops her half eaten donut on the floor just out of reach from her pudgy, swollen fingered grasp. When it happens to me I wait for them to say it and quickly, slightly under my breath, say "douche". It kind of sounds like "oops" but not quite. They'll think they heard something different but they're not sure so they keep going. Maybe if I say it enough to the same person, they will subliminally change and start saying "douche" without realizing it. That would make me happy.