me.com

I've signed up with GoDaddy and now I have my own .com page. Only thing that sucks is I gotta see a log-in whenever I go to the page. Whatever. Now another douche bag with my name can't have the same .com as me. I am digitally consolidating.

Now that's a party

Some people have a night out where they wake up on a random beach and ask themselves, "How the fuck did I get here?" I want to have a night out where I wake up on a random planet. Now that would be one hell of a party.

Close call

I'm 41 points out on Word Feud with this dude I'm playing. It's toward the end of the game and he's played COVE for 40 points. I quickly paly ENEMA for 39 points and I am 2 points out. All I got left is an O. He plays PI for 13 points and I'm out 15 total. I drop the O next to an H and an F and scoop up enough points to win by 1 point 453-452. Fuck Yeah!

Word Feud Dude...

I am a Word Feud (Scrabble) god. I have slayed everybody that has challenged me. I crush their hopes, steal their horses and hear the lamentation of their women! This is probably as close to warfare as I'm ever going to get so I might as well act like Conan whenever I have the chance.

Reusable Beverage Container

Right now I am staring at my transparent, green, company-issued water bottle. It's cute, company branded and holds an ample supply of water. Normally, I'd say "Win" for me, right? Two thing bother me though.
1. Although I can carry the container around with the looped plastic strip that connects the cap to the bottle, when I want to take a drink, it always sides with gravity and turns so the cap smack me in the face. Therefore... "Lose"
2. This second issue might be totally in my head but ever since I heard about plastic bottles of water potentially containing hazardous chemicals such the infamous plasticizer BPA, I've been a little more nervous each day that I refill the bottle up to then drink from. Therefore... "Lose Again"
I am at a loss as to how to proceed with this situation. I am currently very thirsty.

Monkey See, Monkey Take Banana.

I've been told to continue with my blog so I'm back.
Here's a fun story: I'm with my 3 year old daughter in a wildlife preserve on the island country of Barbados. They have monkeys that come down from the tree and eat nuts and berries right in front of you. For the the most part, they leave humans along. For the most part.
My daughter requested a banana and we told her that it probably wasn't a great idea to open a banana in front of the monkeys during feeding time. 20 minutes later, while walking on a path away from the primate feeding frenzy, she requested a banana again. As there were no monkey's around this time, I relented and gave her the banana. Half way through it, as we continued to walk along the path through the forest, a monkey came running down the path toward us at break neck speed. Before I could react, the stupid fuck snatches the rest of the banana out of my daughter's hand and eats it. As my daughter cried at the loss of the banana I couldn't help but think that the monkey had some heavy balls. Not only did it steal the fruit from a larger animal, it also sat right in front of us and ate it instead of running away with it's prize. With boldness and a sense of pride, it gazed up at us as it munched with a look like, "That's how I roll."
Dirty, poo-flinging monkey mother fucker.