Bathroom Reads

Some people don't like to use the office crapper. I don't mind so much. I don't like to use it when someone else is in the room though. I feel weird trying to squeeze one out and someone is a few feet away. What if a loud fart comes out. I know the person can't see me but they might recognize my shoes under the door and match up my shoes later with that individual he heard trumpeting in the john a little while earlier. The Shame!
Other than that, I don't really mind the office loo. I especially like it when someone leaves reading material. Most of the time it's the daily paper or some shitty (no pun intended) client pamphlet that he left there on purpose to annoy the next shitter. However, sometimes you get real lucky and every once in a blue moon someone leaves a Maxim or FHM lying there. That's pure gold. I usually sit around for a good 30 minutes before I finish up when the good stuff is available. I am tempted to take the Maxim with me but I think it is bad karma. Someone else usually winds up taking it but they're shit heads anyway.

Take off music

I think everybody should have music that they need to play whenever they take off in flight. It would seem to be a situation that warranted the need for kick ass music. I used to play the 1st 4 songs on Led Zeppelin 4 when the plane started to taxi away from the gate. It seemed so natural. Black Dog was perfect for the slow motion of the plane away from the gate. It sounds like a jumble of elements that went well with the flurry of activity that surrounded the airplane at a busy airport. As the plane gets to the runway and Rock and Roll comes on, the plane rocks into motion and screams down the runway, the song and the acceleration getting the listener pumped up. The Battle of Evermore just sounds like a song you'd want to hear as you drift through the clouds, the lofty sounds making you want to float out of your seat and fly by yourself. Stairway to Heaven seems an obvious final choice for a tune that should play while the plane rises higher and higher toward the heavens. Not much more to say about that one.
These days I have done away with the four-part production. I simply wait until the plane is just about ready to go down the runway and play the theme song to Dr. Who circa 1980. It has the same effect on me by itself as all four songs from Led Zeppelin did years ago.

Ideal

Not really sure what people think is the ideal age. I know that young kids always want to be older and older folks always want to be younger. I know my own ideal age is 23. I have no real reason for choosing this age. It is not like something happened at that point that made me choose it. I just think that it feels like a natural age at which all people don't need to wish to be younger than or older than it. I liked it because it just seems to be perfect. 21 was still too young as you are trying to figure thinks out still and haven't gotten any real world experience. 27 is too old as you are well aware of the world around you but things aren't as fresh as they were at 23. Besides, it is Michael Jordan's jersey number so at least it has that going for it.

Grape

Sometimes a word is spoken and you say it over and over and over. After a while it just sounds stupid. A friend of mine thinks the word Grape is stupid to say over and over again. I think the word Mumps is just as weird. She disagrees. She is not my friend anymore.

Bacne

Bacne, aka back acne, is down right disturbing. The only decent thing is that the owner of said bacne is never able to view the horror. Only significant others and people on a beach can witness the bacne. I'm not really sure how it came to pass but I thing there needs to be a law that abolishes this condition. A prison sentence is mandatory for anyone who does not get their bacne laser removed in a timely fashion. And there should be another prison sentence to the sickos who like to pop their significant other's bacne. You people make me sick!