Paper cuts

I am convinced that paper is malicious in nature. There is no better way to explain the paper cut. I think it is revenge for cutting down the trees with which to make the stuff. They feel slighted and in turn react by cutting us like a little Japanese girl yelling, "I'll cut you, bitch!"
Sure, you can crumple up the little bastard and throw him away but his brothers are waiting in line like martyrs to take up the cause and cut you again. It is no use to fight as fighting is futile. I think there is a coalition forming between paper and pencils. They've been in cahoots for a long time now. The pencil, in its own form of defiance, does not physically harm you like paper does. It annoys you by going limp and snapping as you write your words. I hate that. First the pencil snaps, ruining the page for me, and then the paper cuts me adding injury to insult.
I just hope the computer doesn't take up the cause as well and try to electrocute me.