Big Umbrella = Big Douche Bag

Walking through the rainy streets of Manhattan is challenging enough on even the nicest days. Try getting from point A to point B on a rainy day and you're liable to get smacked in the face by several cold, wet, obscenely large umbrellas. This is a big city but the streets are crowded with the likes of people trying to get to work or a tourist destination at all hours of the day. During rush hour commute, I like to walk to work instead of taking Mass Transit. This is a nice luxury, I will admit. I've come to terms with the harzards and obstacles that I encounter along my daily route to and fro. However, the large golf umbrellas that some people insist on carrying around over their heads when it rains is down right not cool. And it's always the same rich monkey suit wearing douche bag too. Never the tourist or slacker or hippy or old Chinese woman who carries them. It's the middle age white guy who is not only afraid of getting his $4000 dollar suit wet but apparently the 10 foot perimeter that surrounds him while he walks. These fucks can't even get out of there own way. Hey asshole, leave the stupid thing back at your preppy golf resort and carry a normal size umbrella around this town. The dumbest thing is that they sometimes bloom it open when it's not even raining. Douche Bag!